What I want for my little one

I just got back from a Geek Girl dinner at Google headquarters. It was nice, but one little part that stuck was by an Indian panelist who expressed how "my mom wanted the best for me and my sisters. She was constantly urging us to aim high." (The comment loses it's power in the retelling -- you had to be there.)

The comment shifted my thinking a little. This morning when the fluffy-headed little Aee emerged from her room asking for me to replace the batteries in one of her toys, instead of saying, "Sure, in a minute" (which comes all too naturally). Instead, I reached over to my purse and pulled out a mini screwdriver so we could open the toy together and replace the batteries together. I knew she was good with electronics, but it was sheer joy watching her wield that little screwdriver and without a blink of hesitation do the lefty-loosely, pull out batteries, insert batteries checking for proper orientation, then righty-tighty.

I have no idea where Aee's future interests will lie. For now, she's rounding out all sorts of abilities that will bolster her in the future.

I have given a lot of thought to what I want for her. The current vision is that I want her to:

* have ample opportunity to develop abilities
* be surrounded by supportive, helpful people
* develop a solid sense of self-chosen direction

For this particular little kid at this particular point in time, those are the items at the top of the list.

What will he be?

You know how, as a young mother, you watch your toddler eat full-fisted, smashing the food against the sides of his mouth as well as the main "entrance". You sit there and wonder, "Oh yeah, he's going to be such a refined adult someday..."

Well...

My eldest, Vee, took a college what-will-I-be-when-I grow-up test and it showed that he will be a:

Latin philosopher robotics engineer

The funniest part is that I can actually envision what that job would entail, which institutions might seek such an odd mix, and how he could implement those varied interests into a meaningful, contributing adult life.

It's so sad. One day he was shoving his dinner all over his rosy cheeks. The next day, he's a young man with such definitive tastes, he can identify different types of apples by flavor and texture (blind test).

Never in my wildest dreams did I think he might grow up to be Latin philosopher robotics engineer.

Good, Better, Best, part 3

After all this ramp-up to the Good, Better, Best discussion (which was a *laugh-riot*), I saw a bit more clearly my own little personal insight that had been lurking around the corners all week. Here it is in all its wondrous glory:

Why "Best"? During the discussion, we talked about how it's ok to only choose the good, to relax, take a break, yadda, yadda, sometimes "good" is good enough. Well... perhaps that's fine and good and wonderful for others, but it didn't ring true for me. Here's my scenario: half of the time, I feel like I'm drowning. As I doggy-paddle, am I looking for little arm-floaties or am I looking for the biggest, most boyant life raft I can find? You guessed it -- I'm looking for the best because you know what? I'm tired.

At the root, it's a delightfully simple matter. Applied to everyday, am I going to watch the movie with my kids (good), read them stories (better), or have face-to-face, heart-to-heart discussions with them (best)? Chuck the movie, save stories for bedtime, and sit down for the conversation.

The Good, Better, Best filter is such an effective mechanism for determining right action (yes, that is a whisper of Buddhism).

So, each person uses the mechanism differently, it scales well to every particular life, but for me, in this time and season I can only afford the best. It isn't a matter of achievement level, it's a matter of situational need.

For example, for dinner, it's the foods that will give me the best level of energy (anything less and I'll be an incoherent blob tomorrow); at night it's the reading material that will give me the best quality sleep (or I'll be wide awake at 1 am); during the day, it's the focus (ARG) that will give me the best quality work output (easier said than done); and with my kids, it's the activities that will give them the best sense of momma-loves-me (because heaven knows there's not enough of me to go around).

I think those with more rich reserves can probably afford more Good & Better choices in their lives. For me, in this particular season I need to be surrounded by the Best in order to survive & thrive. So... I guess the logic could follow that if you're reading this blog, you probably know me, and if you know me, then I have chosen to have you in my life, and if you're in my life, you're The Best!

Hehe. =)

What was I thinking?

If I was blogging accurately, giving a fully authentic view of the everyday, then nearly every blog post would begin with "What was I thinking??"

Today's WWIT began with my wishful dream of having a good work day alongside my children, while they played with friends, did projects, and traveled along their own little roads less traveled. The kids all have a day off school due to a district-wide teacher training workshop thing-a-ma-jig and so throughout Berkeley there are children everywhere wondering what happened to their Daily Routine.

My two youngest had playdates lined up; my two eldest had work projects, home projects, and a tournament downtown in the afternoon. Momma thought she could run-run a bit and keep a beautiful flow to the day. What was I thinking? Sonic the hedgehog himself couldn't keep up withe these kids today.

Jee spent all of 20 min at his playdate when the family had an emergency and I had to rush to pick him up, acquiring yet another child along the way. Aee never did get a playdate lined up. All her preferred friends are at camps, other schools, or various drop-off spots since most parent's work schedules are not as carefree as that of their children. Vee and Kee are doing an amazing job at their own respective work, but still. They are loud. They are stinky. But, they are currently regrouting the tub, so I shan't complain.

Sometimes I have a skipping-through-the-tulips view of what mothering should be like. Ha.

Mothering is full of stink, mess, and heartache, but the pay-off is worth every minute of it.

Pollyanna / Charlotte

Someone commented the other day that I was being a Pollyanna... to which I replied, "Thanks! That's a nice compliment, but a bit retro... It would probably be more accurate to call me a Charlotte."

Charlotte as in Making Fiends.

Good, Better, Best, part 2

Ah-ha for the day:
The most urgent thing is not always the Best thing

Tonight's Good = put in a few more hours of work (which is definitely urgent)

Tonight's Better = lighten up a bit, spend a little more time with my family

Tonight's Best = play a board game w/ fam then zonk hard & fast so I can get up before the sun rises.

Zzzz.

First words

Sometimes I marvel at the first words that I hear every morning. I wonder if all people hear such things when they wake up?

This morning, I woke up at 4 am, fully alert and feeling the pressure of paperwork I hadn't finished the night before. I got settled into my desk and started spinning like some secretarial gerbil. An hour later, about 5 am, I heard a sloppy pitter-putter down the hallway. My littlest wandered out: "Lucia kicked me awake."

A few minutes later, Jee wandered out, all bushy-headed: "I want to make worms!"

Kee enters the scene a bit later: "Your face...."

Vee's turn another 1/2 hr later, giving me a fluffy grin, "Meh."

I had just read the night before about how the first words, thoughts, actions of the day can have a powerful agenda-setting effect on the rest of the day. I put those together and wondered... "Lucia kicked me awake; I want to make worms; your face...; meh."

Wow, it's going to be an interesting day (and it was).

First, "Lucia" was the name of Aee's friend and she was over last night for Aee's first sleepover. Despite having a bunk bed, they both wanted to sleep on the same "level" so they slept foot-to-foot, thus the "kicking me awake".

"Worms" are a crocheted bit of string. Jee just learned how to crochet from his papa and the strips of crocheted yarn look like worms, so of course, he must make lots of them.

"Your face..." is a joking, jostling sort of expression that Kee uses often, interchangeable with "Ton visage..."

"Meh," is Vee's universal, non-commital, non-judgemental, non-anything response to everything.

I wonder what my first words were this morning? My first unspoken words were, "Oh crud, am I waking up? Please don't wake up; please don't wake up. Slow the breathing down s-l-o-w. Straighten out all comfy-like. Feel that peaceful pillo... Oh crud, I'm awake. Might as well get some work done."

My first spoken words were, "Good morning sweetheart!" when I saw my child and yes, it was a good morning.