Thursday, March 29, 2007

Happy Visions of Big Kids

To distract myself from the insurance paperwork and the impeding IEP meeting in a few hours, I started thinking about what it was like when Vee and Kee were wee ones. They were so fun. When they were little, I carried this vision of them growing up to be smart, creative, powerful young men someday and sure enough, that's the direction they're headed.

So, I was thinking that I could finally put a check mark in that little mental To Do box -- they actually did get to their teen years intact & healthy. Done. Check.

On to the next one.

But the vision for the next 10 years is so much weaker, partly because I'm hesitant to create that vision when they are about 80% in charge of all aspects of their lives. (I'm still providing housing, food, survival stuff, but they're doing the other 80% such as time management, transportation, education...) It's not my job to create a vision of their future once they're on their own. That's just intrusive.

But they're still kids & I should probably fill out my vision a bit more. They really seem to sense it and appreciate it. Here is what my vision was 10 years ago:

What they were: They were two high-energy brilliant little boys who ran around the house like their bums were on fire. They enjoyed school, but prefered home. They could hold a happy conversation as long as it was about swords, computers, or collisions.

Vision: Sitting around the dinner table talking about the latest news of the day. Them saying, "Actually, that's not how I see it..." then explaining their views clearly and compassionately. I saw in my mind's eye that they were confident, strong, and self-directed. I pictured us sitting around the table doing homework together and later, around the computer desks playing games together online. I had this super strong image of them at school being gentle, kind, funny, in the background a bit, answering questions, asking questions, and having a strong sense of "I'm here only because this teacher has something to give."

So, we're there, but what's next? I have looked around my pool of friends for inspiration & have found all sorts of traits, but most of them are taking different paths. I haven't found a good vision that fits us. Argh. Any input? I'm working towards the grown-and-gone picture. What do you want for your kids? So far I have this:

* I don't want them to grow up to be office drones.
* I want them to have good global awareness.
* I want them to be smart but humble (not quite the Irish self-deprication, but close)
* I want them to have a solid grasp on their personal finances, but never experience worry about them
* I want them to create a safety net (a college degree)

Enough daydreaming.