I love this -- in the last few days I have packed a full set of suitcases for:
* hot California summer
and
* snowy NZ winter
and there wasn't a single item of overlap so I could pack the suitcases and let them sit at the front door waiting.
Like big wrapped presents.
Without bows.
Even better.
See, I don't like vacations for the act of vacationing, as dictionary.com says, "a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest." Vacations seem to indicate a dislike of the regular day-to-day lives and a desire to get away, escape the grind. While I admit this last year has been the most difficult of my life (by a long shot) I don't view vacations as the stereotypical get-away.
I remember when we lived in suburbia and everyone was taking off on their summer / winter vacations and I thought, "Wow, only a few weeks a year is 'the good life'. Eeep." It seemed more valuable to invest in making every day fulfilling so that the craving to disappear on vacation, to suspend that work, is not what drives you the other 350-ish days of the year.
So, I try (although not all that successfully) to build an everyday life that is fulfilling enough so that "vacations" can be used for another purpose.
Care to guess what?
What else could a vacation be? Other than relaxation?
Think back to when you were five... Exploration! Discovery! Feeling the texture of the earth in a new place, new playground. Wondering at the new sky, letting that sense of awe wash over you as you relished your power to navigate the world.
For me, a trip feels more like the first time I walked on two legs. It's an amazing feeling. It's more of a study, a turning on of a switch, not the turning off that the word "vacation" implies.
Now, that does sound hokey, I'm sure, but it is wonderfully true. I love "vacations". I just wish they didn't have such a Lazy Joe name to them.. "Vacations" sound boring. What about "explorations" or "bouncing arounds"?
Or maybe I should just get back to prepping the house for my absence. 1/2 the family is staying home, so it's not a big deal, but still. I love leaving things clean. I don't care what it looks like when I get back, just as long as I can walk out the front door with the sight of a clean home as that last visual impression stored in memory.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Rollercoasters
At 10am this morning: "I did it! I got the plane tix to AU and NZ!"
10am to 10pm: So psyched, finally going.
10pm: Travelocity calls, the tix didn't go through. Airline canceled one segment of an eight leg trip and the whole trip collapses. Doh.
10:30pm: Rebooked, leaving in about 48 hrs. Psyched again!
Feels a bit like a rollercoaster.
Ironically, my beloved and three of the kids are in Santa Cruz this weekend riding actual rollercoasters.
10am to 10pm: So psyched, finally going.
10pm: Travelocity calls, the tix didn't go through. Airline canceled one segment of an eight leg trip and the whole trip collapses. Doh.
10:30pm: Rebooked, leaving in about 48 hrs. Psyched again!
Feels a bit like a rollercoaster.
Ironically, my beloved and three of the kids are in Santa Cruz this weekend riding actual rollercoasters.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Unplugging
I love the other side of the tech curve. It used to be, "How can tech improve my life?" and now it's "Do I really need all this tech?"
Every new device I pass through this test:
* Do I need it?
* Do I want it?
* Do I love it?
If it fails any one of those three tests, the device sees the inside of the donation box.
Every new device I pass through this test:
* Do I need it?
* Do I want it?
* Do I love it?
If it fails any one of those three tests, the device sees the inside of the donation box.
The evolution of what-we-want
See if you can follow this train of logic:
I hurt my foot --> foot in soft cast for a week
Soft cast --> go to Disneyland (wheelchair = front of line)
Announce Disneyland --> kids happy bouncy --> bags packed by Sunday afternoon
Sunday night I view Consuming Kids with friends --> I no longer want to take my kids to Disneyland
I remember my own experience with Disneyland, "Why do people put on big costumes in this heat?" --> I look for an alternative
Since I haven't won any bid on Priceline in ages, I take a Hail Mary bid on a very expensive, very nice hotel in Monterey Bay --> the bid goes through --> I say, "Eep!"
I pack up the kids and head off to Monterey for the week, thoroughly enjoying the trip and all the side-trips. I had no idea Monterey had so much to offer.
We came back tanned, relaxed, and most of all, with a stronger sibling bond.
We also came back only three minutes before Vee and Eee needed the car. (We are a one car family.) Cutting it close, for sure.
My favorite comment from Aee as she swam in the big circular pool at the hotel, face up to the sky, "I'm so glad I'm feeling the sun instead of in a shop collecting things. I love you Mom."
I hurt my foot --> foot in soft cast for a week
Soft cast --> go to Disneyland (wheelchair = front of line)
Announce Disneyland --> kids happy bouncy --> bags packed by Sunday afternoon
Sunday night I view Consuming Kids with friends --> I no longer want to take my kids to Disneyland
I remember my own experience with Disneyland, "Why do people put on big costumes in this heat?" --> I look for an alternative
Since I haven't won any bid on Priceline in ages, I take a Hail Mary bid on a very expensive, very nice hotel in Monterey Bay --> the bid goes through --> I say, "Eep!"
I pack up the kids and head off to Monterey for the week, thoroughly enjoying the trip and all the side-trips. I had no idea Monterey had so much to offer.
We came back tanned, relaxed, and most of all, with a stronger sibling bond.
We also came back only three minutes before Vee and Eee needed the car. (We are a one car family.) Cutting it close, for sure.
My favorite comment from Aee as she swam in the big circular pool at the hotel, face up to the sky, "I'm so glad I'm feeling the sun instead of in a shop collecting things. I love you Mom."
Light-footed
It may look like I am constantly changing plans... and some people consider that a bad thing.
Someone recently said, "Oh, you're just light-footed."
I like that view so very much. Thank you.
Someone recently said, "Oh, you're just light-footed."
I like that view so very much. Thank you.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Foiled again!
Confirmed -- the NZ rental agency won't take my temporary USA license. It isn't valid enough.
So, what to do while waiting around for 10 days for the little piece of plastic to arrive?
Hum...
Top items off the top of my head:
* Explore half-moon bay for a week -- too expensive, hotels are 250-500/night there. Even if we drive every day there & back, the gas is considerable, more than an RV in NZ would cost in our little jaunts...
* Do a tour of bay area museums again, could be fun.
* Grab some $60 tix to LA, stay with friends and go to Disneyland for a week. Possible, but Jee & Aee hate crowds and heat even more than I do.
* Enroll them in camps. Too expensive!
* Hire The Most Awesome Babysitters (who are not related to us) to watch the wee ones for 1/2 days, just enough so that the day balances out. Jee and Aee get four hours of non-stop board game time while I work, then they play at the shop while I work. Then we all breath a deep sigh and play together a bit.
Sounds good, but this is what we have been doing for the last two weeks. Plus, The Most Awesome Babysitter team is out of town.
Harumpf.
Those $300-something tickets to Spain are looking better every day.
So, what to do while waiting around for 10 days for the little piece of plastic to arrive?
Hum...
Top items off the top of my head:
* Explore half-moon bay for a week -- too expensive, hotels are 250-500/night there. Even if we drive every day there & back, the gas is considerable, more than an RV in NZ would cost in our little jaunts...
* Do a tour of bay area museums again, could be fun.
* Grab some $60 tix to LA, stay with friends and go to Disneyland for a week. Possible, but Jee & Aee hate crowds and heat even more than I do.
* Enroll them in camps. Too expensive!
* Hire The Most Awesome Babysitters (who are not related to us) to watch the wee ones for 1/2 days, just enough so that the day balances out. Jee and Aee get four hours of non-stop board game time while I work, then they play at the shop while I work. Then we all breath a deep sigh and play together a bit.
Sounds good, but this is what we have been doing for the last two weeks. Plus, The Most Awesome Babysitter team is out of town.
Harumpf.
Those $300-something tickets to Spain are looking better every day.
Excuses, Excuses
I'm feeling a bit like Sisyphus, pushing a rock, pushing a rock, but never getting anywhere. I am trying to leave. The kids are beyond psyched. Everyone is ready, but...
Every day some new monster rears its head.
Last Monday it was a slipped something in my back. Fixed.
On Tuesday it was a work thing that needed an immediate solution or I couldn't leave town. Mostly fixed.
On Wednesday it was my foot. It feels like it's broken. I can barely walk. Horrid shooting pains.
Today it was the expired driver's license. New one will get here in 10 days.
Is someone trying to tell me something? Because the next step would be a brain tumor or a car accident. Eep.
Every day some new monster rears its head.
Last Monday it was a slipped something in my back. Fixed.
On Tuesday it was a work thing that needed an immediate solution or I couldn't leave town. Mostly fixed.
On Wednesday it was my foot. It feels like it's broken. I can barely walk. Horrid shooting pains.
Today it was the expired driver's license. New one will get here in 10 days.
Is someone trying to tell me something? Because the next step would be a brain tumor or a car accident. Eep.
HUGE amount of luck
Imagine this: You book tickets for yourself and your children to fly half way around the world. You are beyond-ready to rent that sweet little RV so you and your little ones can travel up and down the coast.
You get to the checkout counter to fill out all the RV forms and the clerk says in that fantastic New Zealand accent: "Matie, you can't rent. Your driver's license is expired."
You know what happens when you are in a foreign country and need US approval for visa, dls, this sort of thing? You have to *go home* to get it done.
Did I just narrowly escape a huge mistake?
On my way to the DMV now...
You get to the checkout counter to fill out all the RV forms and the clerk says in that fantastic New Zealand accent: "Matie, you can't rent. Your driver's license is expired."
You know what happens when you are in a foreign country and need US approval for visa, dls, this sort of thing? You have to *go home* to get it done.
Did I just narrowly escape a huge mistake?
On my way to the DMV now...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My favorite moment of the day
Seeing my teenage son take control of his life, ground his career, and work with a new colleague.
This is nothing so fulfilling as knowing that your kids are going to be OK.
This is nothing so fulfilling as knowing that your kids are going to be OK.
Time and a Half?
When you work overtime on holidays, weekends, during the birth of your son, days when everyone else is on vacation... aren't you supposed to get time and a half?
My beloved just worked two weeks straight of 18 to 20 hour days, non-stop, around the clock, quick naps and short nights. He worked through one weekend, then worked again through the next -- the 4th of July.
What does he get for around-the-clock devotion?
Time and a half?
Nah. How about the new company rule that went into effect while he was gone: "One comp day for every two weekend days / holiday days worked."
What's that? Half time?
Invest 2, get 1 in return...
Yikes, how motivating!
My beloved just worked two weeks straight of 18 to 20 hour days, non-stop, around the clock, quick naps and short nights. He worked through one weekend, then worked again through the next -- the 4th of July.
What does he get for around-the-clock devotion?
Time and a half?
Nah. How about the new company rule that went into effect while he was gone: "One comp day for every two weekend days / holiday days worked."
What's that? Half time?
Invest 2, get 1 in return...
Yikes, how motivating!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Looking for a school
NZ is in school while we are on summer break (and they are on summer break while we are in school).
So, I am looking for a school for Jee & Aee to go to for a few weeks so I can work a bit while we are in NZ.
Finding a good school when you have a whole country to choose from helps you outline what educational atmosphere you want.
The top three things I treasure in my kid's school experience:
1. Diversity on all levels (financial, physical, intellectual, etc)
2. Acceptance verbiage rather than rejection verbiage. The school's website, usually approved by the principal is a fairly good indication of how the school is run. Ex: "We accept and appreciate..." rather than "We have a no tolerance policy towards..." While I believe strict rules are vital, schools who focus on the positive usually engender the positive, so...
3. Strong academics since my geeky little kids like studying. They get it from both sides of the family. I have such fond memories of sitting at the dinner table doing workbook pages because I liked to do schoolwork. There's something wonderful about a fresh sheet of problems and a pencil that you need to sharpen again and again. Thrill!
Why are diversity and acceptance are first on my list? As a trained teacher, you would think I would have something more concrete on my list. Instead I have the warm-fuzzies of peace, love and happiness.
Here's why... When you have kids you want them to be friends, right? You want sibling rivalry to be at a minimum, right?
Because, after all, what parent actually enjoys hearing: "She looked at me funny!" and "He touched the leaf that I was thinking of picking up!"
When the teacher at school is spending six to eight hours a day working on kindness, enlarging their hearts and minds, training them to naturally assume good intent, it makes my job easier. Haven't I heard too many times from my kids and others, "But he did it on purpose!" countered by, "It was an accident!" Let's rewrite that script.
It seems that the neural pathways need to be trained to assume good intent, at least during the playground years. I haven't heard too many kids on the playground, when bonked by an errant basketball say, "It's ok, I know you didn't mean to toss it over here." Instead you hear, "Hey!..." followed by words I would rather not record.
Anyway, my criteria is based on recognizing that I don't have enough energy or power to teach my kids this particular lesson sufficiently. I need the bolstering of a wide support network to get this message across. When supported by a wide net, my kids know that it is a societal norm, not just something their mom wants them to do.
So far, I have found nearly every NZ school has a message like the Kawakawa school has (note that the language is Maori, a lot like Hawaiin):
Motto: "Kai U Ki Te Pai:" Uphold that which is good
Bliss.
So, I am looking for a school for Jee & Aee to go to for a few weeks so I can work a bit while we are in NZ.
Finding a good school when you have a whole country to choose from helps you outline what educational atmosphere you want.
The top three things I treasure in my kid's school experience:
1. Diversity on all levels (financial, physical, intellectual, etc)
2. Acceptance verbiage rather than rejection verbiage. The school's website, usually approved by the principal is a fairly good indication of how the school is run. Ex: "We accept and appreciate..." rather than "We have a no tolerance policy towards..." While I believe strict rules are vital, schools who focus on the positive usually engender the positive, so...
3. Strong academics since my geeky little kids like studying. They get it from both sides of the family. I have such fond memories of sitting at the dinner table doing workbook pages because I liked to do schoolwork. There's something wonderful about a fresh sheet of problems and a pencil that you need to sharpen again and again. Thrill!
Why are diversity and acceptance are first on my list? As a trained teacher, you would think I would have something more concrete on my list. Instead I have the warm-fuzzies of peace, love and happiness.
Here's why... When you have kids you want them to be friends, right? You want sibling rivalry to be at a minimum, right?
Because, after all, what parent actually enjoys hearing: "She looked at me funny!" and "He touched the leaf that I was thinking of picking up!"
When the teacher at school is spending six to eight hours a day working on kindness, enlarging their hearts and minds, training them to naturally assume good intent, it makes my job easier. Haven't I heard too many times from my kids and others, "But he did it on purpose!" countered by, "It was an accident!" Let's rewrite that script.
It seems that the neural pathways need to be trained to assume good intent, at least during the playground years. I haven't heard too many kids on the playground, when bonked by an errant basketball say, "It's ok, I know you didn't mean to toss it over here." Instead you hear, "Hey!..." followed by words I would rather not record.
Anyway, my criteria is based on recognizing that I don't have enough energy or power to teach my kids this particular lesson sufficiently. I need the bolstering of a wide support network to get this message across. When supported by a wide net, my kids know that it is a societal norm, not just something their mom wants them to do.
So far, I have found nearly every NZ school has a message like the Kawakawa school has (note that the language is Maori, a lot like Hawaiin):
Motto: "Kai U Ki Te Pai:" Uphold that which is good
Aroha: Love
Awhina: Help
Atawhai: Care
Manaaki: To help, love and care for one another.
Now, doesn't that sound like something you want in your house at 6:15 every night while you're making dinner?Bliss.
How to enrol in NZ schools
Tonight I sent out 20+ queries to state schools (one type of public school) up and down NZ. I got the first reply back. Woot! The schools must be sanctioned through the gov't. There's a tuition we pay per week but it's quite reasonable. I would prefer a school w/o uniforms. There are several types of public schools in NZ / AU, but the state schools are 85% of the enrolments. "Enrol" has only one "l" in their spelling and it drives me nuts. I want to scratch a second "l" onto the computer screen... my finger is itching... scratch just one more "l"...
But I will resist and wait for replies from the other 20-something schools.
I picked schools I liked in random locations that seem like fun villages to stay in for a few weeks.
I have no idea what I'm getting myself (and the kids) into.
But I will resist and wait for replies from the other 20-something schools.
I picked schools I liked in random locations that seem like fun villages to stay in for a few weeks.
I have no idea what I'm getting myself (and the kids) into.
Are we there yet?
To answer many questions at once:
Q - Why haven't you left yet?
A - Because my husband has been out of town the last two weeks. It was unexpected and unwelcome, but it all worked out for the best.
Q - Are you still going?
A - Yes! I loaded "The Hobbit" onto my son's iPod and we'll be listening to it as we travel up and down the wintery NZ coast. Could anything be more delicious? We love audiobooks and this one has particularly good voice talent.
Q - What day are you leaving?
A - Tomorrow, next week, I don't know. I like doing the last minute tickets on various sites. I have Scottish blood in me veins and I enjoy getting a really good price on the tix. The bags are mostly packed and the next day tix are often the best deals.
Q - Who are you taking?
A - Just the wee ones. The big ones will stay home to work and enjoy their summer. I consider myself quite lucky to have this flexibility.
Q - So, this is just a vacation?
A - (Visible bristling) Actually, it is a working vacation.
Q - Define "work"?
A - It depends. I'm working on parenting healthy kids who know that the world is theirs to navigate. I'm working on writing a few kids books with strong female leads - the Maori culture in NZ infused some ticklishly fun names of streets and locations. I think just being there will be enough inspiration to finally get me to explore this genre (children's fiction) better. I am also working on official company business, but that will only be a minor part of it.
I am not a patient type and the last few weeks have been excruiatingly long. Sigh. It will make it all the more enjoyable.
Q - Why haven't you left yet?
A - Because my husband has been out of town the last two weeks. It was unexpected and unwelcome, but it all worked out for the best.
Q - Are you still going?
A - Yes! I loaded "The Hobbit" onto my son's iPod and we'll be listening to it as we travel up and down the wintery NZ coast. Could anything be more delicious? We love audiobooks and this one has particularly good voice talent.
Q - What day are you leaving?
A - Tomorrow, next week, I don't know. I like doing the last minute tickets on various sites. I have Scottish blood in me veins and I enjoy getting a really good price on the tix. The bags are mostly packed and the next day tix are often the best deals.
Q - Who are you taking?
A - Just the wee ones. The big ones will stay home to work and enjoy their summer. I consider myself quite lucky to have this flexibility.
Q - So, this is just a vacation?
A - (Visible bristling) Actually, it is a working vacation.
Q - Define "work"?
A - It depends. I'm working on parenting healthy kids who know that the world is theirs to navigate. I'm working on writing a few kids books with strong female leads - the Maori culture in NZ infused some ticklishly fun names of streets and locations. I think just being there will be enough inspiration to finally get me to explore this genre (children's fiction) better. I am also working on official company business, but that will only be a minor part of it.
I am not a patient type and the last few weeks have been excruiatingly long. Sigh. It will make it all the more enjoyable.
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