Thanks to a friend, we have been re-discussing this particular paradox, one we have gone over again and again (and again) ad nauseum without any successful answers:
Parents tell you, "Do good in school."
They also tell you, "The most 'successful' kids in high school turned out to be the biggest losers as adults and visa versa."
What a brain pretzel.
So, we were talking about it again during dinner and Vee and Kee pointed out that their school is so large, so chaotic, so bizarre, that many of the standards that comprise the American high school are not relevant there. Does the school have cheerleaders? I dunno, but we have a barbeque club. Are there popular kids? Define "popular". Are their cliques? What's a clique again? A group of kids.
I asked them to define their current group.
After a brief overview of their group, they revealed that it includes several freshmen, one sophomore (Vee), and several juniors.
I gasped at the horror of it. Interclass friendships? The thought! I briefly explained how it was "supposed to work" at high school campuses where the class level was distinctly defined, but they looked at me like I was loopy.
So, apparently they are (hopefully) at a school where this particular paradox is less than necessary. But I do love that paradox: "Do good... and if you do good now and you'll fail in life long-term." Ha!